So lately, I would call myself moody.
Sometimes giddy.
Sometimes feisty.
Sometimes anxious.
Sometimes loved.
Sometimes forgotten.
But a lot of cranky, a lot of irritated and a lot of pessimistic.
(Yes, me! Pessimistic!!! The girl that not only sees the cup as half full, sees all the things we can do with that cup that’s super full!)
And I know why I am feeling all that and more………….my birthday is coming.
Now don’t get me wrong…I am not a whoa is me, i’m gonna be old kind of a girl.
Not me at all.
It’s just that I LOVE BIRTHDAYS.
Like you have no idea how much I love them.
And not matter how much I love them, I’m always always disappointed in others and how they choose to act on my birthday.
So this year, I just want to be with me…..I want to wake up when I want and eat what I want and watch and do and say what I want.
And I am not saying I want to do this like for five days straight.
But I want to just be.
I wish it was easier to explain.
Because I am so giddy and talkative and an overall happy girl, people that are the closest to me don’t know what to do when I’m not so smiley.
And it’s okay to not be that giggle smile girl all the time.
So I’m going to plan a little trip. A getaway for just me. Not far of course because my mama would freak. She doesn’t like for us to go to walmart by ourselves!
And I’m going to just be.
And be quiet and serine. So I can get back to being stormy and wild.
goodnite.
~Me
2 comments:
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Hope your trip (whatever it is) is a worthwhile one.
I understand wanting to have some time to yourself, I think you felt this way last year too, but also please remember that your birthday is a chance for those of us that love you to celebrate having you here with us in our lives and how grateful we are for that! I think back to when I was in college and I was unable to come home for my birthday and how much it made me sad that I had these people at home that cared so much about me and I wasn't able to be with them on my birthday, or Zack when he was in Iraq for his 21st birthday- I think he would have given anything to see even just one of us. So maybe it's selfish of the non-birthday people, but there are a lot of us out there that do want a chance to spend time with you maybe not on the actual day but something other than us mailing you $$ or tossing it to you when we see you next. No fun there.
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