3 years ago today…..

 

(Me & Lexi bowling for my birthday 3 years ago!)

Sunday, January 14, 2007 

Who knows?????
Current mood: determined
Category: Life

Remember the first days of school?  The butterflies in your pansa?  The lingering over what to wear?  The endless "what if's"......not to mention the FUN things like picking out a lunch box at Smitty's and buying new, fresh crayons? 

Well tomorrow.........is my version of the first day of school.  Yep, that's right ladies and gentlemen............at the age of 33 (almost....will be in 5 days), I am experiencing those butterflies.  And the what if's.

Tomorrow I begin a new chapter of my life that is called CHANDLER.  I will walk into a new building, very different than the one I created and designed and imagined.  A building that is huge in comparison to the one I've entered for over six years.  A building that has created thousands of productive citizens yet is in the dead center middle of what the newspaper call "recent gang activity"..........should I be scared?  No.  Just like in other neighborhoods across the country, the club is looked at as neutral territory.  A safe place.  A place that has also been open for over 23 years yet has only been run by men............and here I am!  All 4 foot 9 of me..........coming in.  To create hope and opportunity..........for the kids, the community and for myself.

The whole experience will be new.........and in the midst of all of this.....I will be 33 this week.  32 was suppose to "be my year" as I told thousands of people last January.  It was a good year however I do dwell on the negative when I reevaluate.........ever do that re evaluating stuff?  It's tricky.  Cause either way, you come out feeling bad......Becca reminds me that it was a good year and that that good year got me to where I am now.......and this one promises to be even better.

I say often that I do not fail, I learn.  I did not have a failed marriage years ago. I had a learning experience.  (what NOT to do!)........I dont' take risks.  I don't "step out of the box".  So what if I can't cut it?  What if the teens try to run me out of town because I am so "old school" in our Club beliefs that I am out  of line..........What if parents are constantly complaining about me?  What if I see a mouse?  What if......what if's........oh they make me crazy.............I'll think about those in a few days (after my bday).

I had an amazing day today.  With people I love and adore being silly and dancing and BOWLING!  All of us.........in pink.  Pink ladies.  Just wonderful.  But I did catch myself looking at the door a time or two......just to see if they would come.  Just to see if it would cross their mind to show up and surprise me.  Just to feel like they wanted to be there with me, celebrating.  They didn't come. 

Apparently I need FRESH hair tomorrow so I should go to sleep.  Think of me.  And the kids.  and the MICE and hope that I don't have to learn........I know how to do this.  I just have to remind myself from time to time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I love this blog because 1. it’s one of my first.  2.  because it reminds me of how far I’ve come in three years.  In three years, I remembered that I know what I am doing and I LOVE doing what I do everyday. 

The kids I serve.  The families are amazing.  It’s a wonderful feeling!!! 

And some things never change………..Still terrified of mice.  Going bowling for my birthday on Saturday.  And fresh hair?  Getting it done tomorrow!

Congratulations to me on 3 amazing years of Chandler.  :)